As 2014 comes to a close, we’re presented with all sorts of obligatory year in review lists. As this blog is new, our review would be quite short. So instead, I’m going to present you with tricks and tips I’ve learned this year from my dozen or so piercings, and my time spent here at Palm Springs Piercing Company.

  1. When putting jewelry in at the bathroom sink, shut your trap…use the sink stopper! Some working stiff at the sewage treatment plant is surely the lucky recipient of my ear tunnel, a septum retainer and too many threaded balls to count. Which leads to #2…
  2. Check your balls…that is, make sure your balls are tightened. Frequently. Especially before getting in the shower. Or hitting the gym floor. Seeing your 0ga, 3/4″ PA’s ball go bouncing away while you’re doing squats can be kinda embarrassing.
  3. Cats like to swipe shiny jewelry. My cat may look innocent, but Minerva loves to go on the hunt. She’s wired to pursue animals that flash by. But in my home, what catches her eye are circular barbells and talons. More than once, all that glimmers and shines has gone missing from my dresser, only to be found weeks later under the refrigerator.
  4. Jumping dogs and captive bead rings are a deadly combination when you’re shirtless. Or going commando. ‘Nuff said.
  5. After doing a saline soak for your guiche (or any other piercing), empty the cup when you’re done. Don’t leave it on the kitchen counter where a sleepy housemate may use it to make his morning cuppa.
  6. With piercings, you have to relearn how to bathe, dry off and dress. Catching a piercing in a loofah or towel is not the optimal way to start one’s day. Simply taking off a shirt can be dangerous, particularly if you have a penchant for spikes, even for older piercings.
  7. Body and facial piercings are not exclusive to the International Federation of Anarchist Youth. I’ve seen people of all age groups, socioeconomic backgrounds and professions use the services of our shop. Don’t assume your daughter’s mathematics instructor, your doctor, or your mother-in-law doesn’t sport some little metal secret.
  8. If you decide to go with a nostril or septum piercing, be prepared to get asked “How do you blow your nose with that?” My response—“Very, very, VERY carefully.”
    Or if I haven’t had my morning Monster yet, and am feeling ornery and cantankerous, a farmer’s blow (google it).
  9. Shaving with facial piercings can be problematic. Until they’re healed and can be removed, you may have to resort to plucking to get the last stubborn hairs. However painful that may be.
  10. If you wear titanium, do not, I repeat DO NOT, soak it in hydrogen peroxide. You’ll end up with a discolored piece of expensive trash. Not naming names, but you know who you are!

Aloha, and hau’oli makahiki hou!
Rockin’ Rob